Baby showers, baby on board signs, questions from obviously fertile couples about why I don’t want children, and family parking stalls make me sicker than a woman in her first trimester. Infertility like mine is extremely common among endometriosis sufferers.
Recently, my boyfriend thrust his niece’s beautiful baby into my arms. “Practice,” he smiled with the best of intentions. The baby boy looked much like I imagined ours to be and laughed contagiously. After handing the delightful child back to his mother, I hid in the bathroom and burst into tears. It felt like they had thrust a delicious smelling filet mignon into a starving woman’s hands, only to take it away and say, “You can’t have this.”
How can we survive heart breaking events like these?
I still need help, but here are some of the things I do:
1. Avoid events like baby showers, especially if it is close to that time of the month when you're more emotional and reminded of not being pregnant.
2. Resist the urge to ram cars with baby-on-board signs. (I mean really, do people think this makes others drive any more carefully? Oh, I would have gone faster and rear ended that car if it were just that cute little couple in the car, but since there is a baby on board, I’ll hit the brakes…) I adorn my car with stickers of my interests, especially those that pregnant women cannot enjoy, such as surfing or scuba diving. Which leads me to the next thing…
3. Do activities that pregnant women or young families can’t. Try surfing, scuba diving, sky diving, ride roller coasters, take a vacation to Hawaii, or enjoy that glass of wine. It’s my way of politely saying na-na-na-na boo-boo (in my head) to all those lucky women with that pregnant glow.
4. Pamper yourself. Exercise, get a massage, or take a day trip with non-parent friends to help clear your head.
5. Give thanks for what you have. Financial security, no life-threatening diseases, a successful career, a sexy body without stretch marks, whatever it may be.
6. Volunteer. Spend time at a nursing home where you can pick up wisdom from elderly who have seen it all. Or get outdoors and clean up local parks for fresh air and a clear mind.
7. Pray or seek peace with whatever religion you may follow. I really like the hymn, “What a Friend we have in Jesus.” This line speaks to me:
Oh what peace we often forfeit, oh what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry, everything to God in prayer.
I still tear up and bite my lip when something triggers my baby blues, but the above things help me. What things work for you?
Recently, my boyfriend thrust his niece’s beautiful baby into my arms. “Practice,” he smiled with the best of intentions. The baby boy looked much like I imagined ours to be and laughed contagiously. After handing the delightful child back to his mother, I hid in the bathroom and burst into tears. It felt like they had thrust a delicious smelling filet mignon into a starving woman’s hands, only to take it away and say, “You can’t have this.”
How can we survive heart breaking events like these?
I still need help, but here are some of the things I do:
1. Avoid events like baby showers, especially if it is close to that time of the month when you're more emotional and reminded of not being pregnant.
2. Resist the urge to ram cars with baby-on-board signs. (I mean really, do people think this makes others drive any more carefully? Oh, I would have gone faster and rear ended that car if it were just that cute little couple in the car, but since there is a baby on board, I’ll hit the brakes…) I adorn my car with stickers of my interests, especially those that pregnant women cannot enjoy, such as surfing or scuba diving. Which leads me to the next thing…
3. Do activities that pregnant women or young families can’t. Try surfing, scuba diving, sky diving, ride roller coasters, take a vacation to Hawaii, or enjoy that glass of wine. It’s my way of politely saying na-na-na-na boo-boo (in my head) to all those lucky women with that pregnant glow.
4. Pamper yourself. Exercise, get a massage, or take a day trip with non-parent friends to help clear your head.
5. Give thanks for what you have. Financial security, no life-threatening diseases, a successful career, a sexy body without stretch marks, whatever it may be.
6. Volunteer. Spend time at a nursing home where you can pick up wisdom from elderly who have seen it all. Or get outdoors and clean up local parks for fresh air and a clear mind.
7. Pray or seek peace with whatever religion you may follow. I really like the hymn, “What a Friend we have in Jesus.” This line speaks to me:
Oh what peace we often forfeit, oh what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry, everything to God in prayer.
I still tear up and bite my lip when something triggers my baby blues, but the above things help me. What things work for you?